The people in my life

I was just writing in my journal (yes, there is stuff I am not writing about on here) and thought about someone I seem to have trouble keeping in touch with. Someone who’s been a huge part of my life a few years ago. And now is all but gone from it.

At least that’s what it feels like more often than not. You see, it’s not me. I’m always the one making contact. For a while I wrote letters, more so than emails. Then emails did never seem to arrive. Facebook is actually a really good way of staying in touch when your friends are scattered about the globe, because you can’t seem to sit still for more than a year or three.

Then there is texting. But it seems to become a lonely exercise when you never get a reply. As good as never anyway.

I’ve made the effort and so far I keep making it. But it is discouraging and so people keep slipping away from my life. Sometimes they just seem to sneak away and I am wondering, if they’re doing so on purpose or without realizing it.

By all accounts from people, who consider me a friend, I am awesome (I say I’m pretty decent, I try my best anyway). So how is it, that people don’t want to be friends anymore?

Is it just the nature of the beast? Yes, we loose people throughout our lifetime. It’s natural. We grow up, we move away. We change. When you come right down to it, only very, very few people ever stick around for good. Friends for life are rare. Which is fine.

It’d be an impossible task to collect a lifetime worth of friends and remain good friends with each and everyone equally. You wouldn’t have time for anything else. Nobody has a social life that busy. 

I don’t need or want that many friends. But some people, who’ve vanished over time, I really would’ve loved to keep around. They left, and I don’t know why. Couldn’t we have tried and make more of an effort? Shouldn’t we have?

Maybe we’ve spent as much time in each other lives as was meant for us. You know, the whole reason, season, lifetime thing. But maybe that’s the easy way out.

You never know, do you, who will stay and who will eventually leave again. 

Friendship is a wonderful thing. I’ll guess we’ll figure out along the way, which ones should be nourished and kept and which ones will be let go of. I can consider myself lucky, though. I can only remember one friend I have ever actually kicked out of my life. That was quite a shocking experience, too.

Admittedly, I have a hard time letting go of people I love, once loved or at least thought I could love.

It is said, that no man (not to forget woman) is an isle onto himself (herself). I know I am not. I know I’m not. I can feel the people in my life, the ones I know care about me, the ones I care about, most of whom live far away, some I have never even met. 

But every now and then, I feel like I’m the only person in the world and everyone else has slipped quietly into the night.


About 2clouds

I am many things, most of them I am 100%, some of them 150%, none of them just half. I write, I read, I dream, I travel. I question. And I'm always looking for answers. No dream is impossible.
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