Come out, come out, wherever you are

As long as my brain is yelling at me inside my skull there are obviously things that need to come out. Things that need to be said.

Today Jason Collins, a 34-year old NBA player, came out of the closet. He has thereby become the first male athlete of a major American sports team to come out as gay. Huge deal. Incredibly huge deal.

Mind you, there are plenty of women on major sports teams who are already out and proud. But women’s sports seem to count for a lot less and sometimes it seems that women in professional sports teams are presumed gay until they’ve come out as straight.

All that aside every prominent person coming out matters. It still does when really it shouldn’t. But we don’t live in a world that is completely accepting just yet. In fact, most of this world doesn’t accept anyone, who is not hetero sexual. There’s an entire continent where people are prosecuted for even being associated with homosexuality and in parts of which it is punishable by death.

Africa, the cradle of mankind, seems to have great difficulty with the diversity of the species it brought forth.

Visibility matters.

When I read about his coming out, I just thought “Yes!” and wanted to punch the air in victory. Every person coming out is a victory. And every person accepting someone who came out is also a victory.

I am looking forward to the day when it won’t matter anymore and people stop being so darned preoccupied with who is dating who. I don’t care who you date. I don’t care what height they are, how heavy they are, how athletic they are, what colour hair they have, if they wear glasses or not, or if, heaven forbid, they are the same gender as you are, or hell forbid, the opposite sex.

I do not care.

So, why would you care, who I date? What’s it to you?

Why do I have to refute the assumption of being straight? Why are you surprised when I tell you I am not?

I can’t add anything new to the discussion that hasn’t been said a thousand times over already. I have no new arguments as to why it shouldn’t matter, why the distinction between homosexuality and heterosexuality is completely immaterial and not even very accurate in the grand scheme of human sexuality.

If I am more attracted (or exclusively attracted) to one gender rather than the other, it has no affect on you whatsoever. It doesn’t mean I’m attracted to you just because you happen to be female. And if you’re a straight guy it doesn’t mean that I’m going to be taking away your woman from you, because I’m attracted to women that are unavailable to you anyhow.

I will never understand, why it is such a big deal, but it is. At least at this moment in time it still is. We seem to slowly move into the direction of it becoming less of a big deal.

Three countries recently voted yes on marriage equality. DOMA and Prop 8 will hopefully be overturned in the US Supreme Court within the next few months.

We’ve seen some major steps towards equality in the past few years and even Jodie Foster managed a rambling coming out after it’s been an “open secret” for just about forever.

Knowing that I am gay is one facet of the complexity of my person. It’s one piece of a puzzle that is made of countless pieces. One piece, which somehow gets given so much more significance than any of the other pieces.

Why do I have to explain myself? Maybe not to everybody, but certainly enough people. Why does this one piece of information matter so much more than my height, my short sightedness or that I don’t like the colour green?

I may not have anything new to add to the discussion, nothing more profound to say than what’s already been said. But I can and will join my voice to all the others, because it matters.

You think you don’t know anybody in your life, who’s gay? Think again, you know me (at least a little). And I can assure you that I am not the only one.


About 2clouds

I am many things, most of them I am 100%, some of them 150%, none of them just half. I write, I read, I dream, I travel. I question. And I'm always looking for answers. No dream is impossible.
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