“You Owe Me Not…

“You Owe Me Nothing”

I’ll give you countless amounts of outright acceptance if you want it
I will give you encouragement to choose the path that you want if you need it
You can speak of anger and doubts your fears and freak outs and I’ll hold it
You can share your so-called shame filled accounts of times in your life and I won’t judge it (and there are no strings attached to it)

You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have
I give you thanks for receiving it’s my privilege
And you owe me nothing in return

You can ask for space for yourself and only yourself and I’ll grant it
You can ask for freedom as well or time to travel and you’ll have it
You can ask to live by yourself or love someone else and I’ll support it
You can ask for anything you want anything at all and I’ll understand it
(and there are no strings attached to it)

You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have
I give you thanks for receiving it’s my privilege
And you owe me nothing in return

I bet you’re wondering when the next payback shoe will eventually drop
I bet you’re wondering when my conditional police will force you to cough up
I bet you wonder how far you have now danced you way back into debt
This is the only kind of love as I understand it that there really is

You can express your deepest of truths even if it means I’ll lose you and I’ll hear it
You can fall into the abyss on your way to your bliss I’ll empathize with
You can say that you have to skip town to chase your passion and I’ll hear it
You can even hit rock bottom have a mid-life crisis and I’ll hold it
(and there are no strings attached)

You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have
I give you thanks for receiving it’s my privilege
And you owe me nothing in return

Let’s call this my soundtrack. I’ve not listened to this song for years. I used to love Alanis Morissette, but eventually I had heard too much of hear music and I stopped listening to her altogether.

It happens.

But I do actually still love her songs, the soundtrack of my late teenage years as my family will be able to confirm, because I listened to her albums at rather a loud volume in my room.

I loved her lyrics and find that I still do.

On some level this song in particular has always been with me.

It’s the kind of friend I hope to be, the kind of partner I believe I should be (but despite my best attempts did not manage to be in the past), the kind of parent I will be, if ever I will be a parent.

And it is what I want someone to be for me (someone other than my mother).

I used to listen to this song on repeat, belting along. It struck a chord with me on a much deeper level that I initially realized. If the song is a story of two people, then I am both of them.

Ten years ago I couldn’t have put my finger on that. I could’ve told you that the song felt familiar. It felt like me. As if it was about me, maybe.

Now I know that it belongs in the soundtrack of my life. We all have these special songs, just enough to fill an album of maybe a dozen, possibly up to twenty songs.

I couldn’t list any of the other songs right now, but if I happened to hear one of them I could tell you that it is one of them. This is the only one I’m certain about right now, mainly because this just occurred to me.

Music sometimes is the only saving grace. When the lyrics and chords come together and create something that makes you smile or cry or move your feet involuntarily, you know it’s good, maybe even great. If all you do is bang your head or cover your ears, maybe not so much.

Do you have a soundtrack? Do you know the songs it consists of? And if you know only one song, which one is it?

Advertisements

About 2clouds

I am many things, most of them I am 100%, some of them 150%, none of them just half. I write, I read, I dream, I travel. I question. And I'm always looking for answers. No dream is impossible.
Quote | This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s