Selling out

The very simple question is this: what do I want right now? A new job, leaving London, plan my last big getaway next year. It will be my last, I’m certain of that and it won’t be a year, maybe not even nine months, possibly just six months. But I need to do this.

I also can’t live in London any longer, even though I love the city, living in it is starting to drive me nuts. So a new job outside of London it is.

Mind you, for the perfect opportunity I would stay. I would then have to definitely move onto a houseboat. There are only so many compromises I can make.

The question that seems to arise this week is, how far do I move for a decent job opportunity? South England? Ireland? Barcelona, Lisbon, Malta, Athens? All of these have been on the table and still are.

Again, for the perfect opportunity I would go anywhere.

Among the jobs I applied for, I noticed that I accidentally applied for a position as a copy writer for an online company that sells adult pleasure products. Oy vey, I thought and figured that I could never tell anybody with a straight face what I was doing.

Maybe not. They don’t pay enough anyway.

Then there is a copy writer position for an online gaming and betting website. If someone likes that sort of thing and spend their time and money on it, fine. You have to be over 18 to sign up anyway.

But here’s the problem: I don’t think much of the betting industry. In fact, all things considered I find I have serious ethical issues to work for a company like that, even though it would be in an amazing location and the pay would be awesome for that country.

Here is where I wonder when I’d be selling out, if at all.

I’ve never put it in these words, but above all I want to live my life with integrity. I tend to be honest to a fault notwithstanding the little white lies that we all tell, because we’re embarrassed by something or want to spare someone grief or want to just simply keep the peace.

I have omitted information in the past, because they were nobody’s business. I very rarely feel forced to straight up lie and I don’t much like it and avoid it at all cost.

Everybody who’s worked with me in the past knows that I have very strong work ethics. I pride myself in my work, regardless of how mundane a job can be and will never give anything but my best. And if I can’t stand a job, I will find another one.

Doing the job that I clearly want for a company that I don’t agree with is something I have serious issues with. Enough, in fact, that I will not be pursuing my application. This is where I can’t sell out, regardless of the pay involved. I could never drum up the voice or enthusiasm they would expect of me.

Some might consider this foolish or misplaced idealism, but if I can’t do my job without betraying my own beliefs then it is not the job for me.

The right job is worth waiting for and right now I’m in a fairly safe position and even though my job drove me up the wall today, I will not foolishly jump into something I feel uncertain about or simply don’t agree with.

If it is right, it will feel right and I have always been able to trust my instincts on that. If my brains can’t make the decision, because they’re overthinking it too much, I let my instincts decide.

I won’t move countries for the wrong job.


About 2clouds

I am many things, most of them I am 100%, some of them 150%, none of them just half. I write, I read, I dream, I travel. I question. And I'm always looking for answers. No dream is impossible.
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