The instruction not to feel guilty appeared in my Twitter feed today. I’m following @AdviceToWriters and it came as a timely reminder.
It concerned the guilt one feels when being an idle writer. I’ve been suffering that particular guilt since writing my last blog.
I wrote two sentences last night, more out of frustration than anything else. But they then hit so close to home that I stopped.
Eventually it occurred to me that that is all the more reason to continue. I couldn’t last night, but I will today. I have to.
Here is what’s happening: I have roughly two months on my current contract left. The project I am working on is almost at an end. This means I am starting to look around for something new.
But what am I looking for? A similar kind of office job as I am occupying right now? The answer is a resounding NO.
I want to do my own thing – obviously. But that does not yet pay the bills and my savings are untouchable.
So, what else?
It hit me when I browsed the job listings last night. There was an add for a software trainer. It sounded very much like a position I interviewed for before. It’s mostly about teaching customers software their company just purchased.
I’m good at teaching and it is one of the things I actually do enjoy outside of writing and travelling.
I applied for several such roles and will see what happens.
You see, most of my idleness was a direct result of my being unhappy with my current job (though I am more bored due to a lack of challenges) and the doubts about how to continue and what to do next.
I think I needed a little reminder that idleness, too, can have a purpose and one shouldn’t feel too guilty about it. Especially as long as one is aware of and trying to overcome it.
So here I am writing once more.