Do not feel guilty

The instruction not to feel guilty appeared in my Twitter feed today. I’m following @AdviceToWriters and it came as a timely reminder.

It concerned the guilt one feels when being an idle writer. I’ve been suffering that particular guilt since writing my last blog.

I wrote two sentences last night, more out of frustration than anything else. But they then hit so close to home that I stopped.

Eventually it occurred to me that that is all the more reason to continue. I couldn’t last night, but I will today. I have to.

Here is what’s happening: I have roughly two months on my current contract left. The project I am working on is almost at an end. This means I am starting to look around for something new.

But what am I looking for? A similar kind of office job as I am occupying right now? The answer is a resounding NO.

I want to do my own thing – obviously. But that does not yet pay the bills and my savings are untouchable.

So, what else?

It hit me when I browsed the job listings last night. There was an add for a software trainer. It sounded very much like a position I interviewed for before. It’s mostly about teaching customers software their company just purchased.

I’m good at teaching and it is one of the things I actually do enjoy outside of writing and travelling.

I applied for several such roles and will see what happens.

You see, most of my idleness was a direct result of my being unhappy with my current job (though I am more bored due to a lack of challenges) and the doubts about how to continue and what to do next.

I think I needed a little reminder that idleness, too, can have a purpose and one shouldn’t feel too guilty about it. Especially as long as one is aware of and trying to overcome it.

So here I am writing once more.


About 2clouds

I am many things, most of them I am 100%, some of them 150%, none of them just half. I write, I read, I dream, I travel. I question. And I'm always looking for answers. No dream is impossible.
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