Warring Desires

What do you do when you are torn between conflicting dreams?

I want to travel, desperately.

I want to write, desperately.

I want my own home, very much so. A houseboat as you well know.

I want Greyhounds, more than I can say.

And while we are at it, I’ll have a partner as well, more fun that way.

None of these things are mutually exclusive, but not easily combined or to be found, made, achieved, done at the same time.

I can travel and write. Or I save enough money to finance a boat and go on to adopt two retired racing Greyhounds.

But both at the same time is just not going to happen. Unless, of course, my future wife wanders into my life and brings a boat and puppies.

Or I win the lottery. I actually do have a ticket. It was a Christmas present.

The likelihood of any of these things just happening is close to nil. I have a lot of imagination, but this sounds deluded even to me.

No, the only things that will happen are the ones I make happen. Eventually that will encompass all of the above. But the word I’m looking for, ever so reluctantly, is patience.

T’is my weakness. Patience is nothing I will ever excel at.

What one must recognize and acknowledge is this: not everything one wants must happen at once. What, then, would be left to look forward to? If all is achieved, what would we fill our dreams with?

I will travel.

I am writing and one day I will not need a ‘day job’ anymore.

I will have my houseboat. My home.

There will be two couch potatoes, who will need to grow two pairs of sea legs each.

And there will be someone I may even want to get married to (I don’t much believe in marriage, but I’m open to the idea) or a civil union, if it must be that.

All in good time.


About 2clouds

I am many things, most of them I am 100%, some of them 150%, none of them just half. I write, I read, I dream, I travel. I question. And I'm always looking for answers. No dream is impossible.
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