No pressure

During NaNoWriMo I wrote much more every day than is currently the case. There was a goal to reach and a deadline. There was, in other words, a certain amount of pressure.

Right now I have no pressure at all. I don’t have a daily writing goal and even if I had, who’d know? And who’d know if I made it or not?

Only my desire to write and a certain personal pride to know at the end of the day that I have indeed written, prompt me to do it.

I go to one cafe or another almost every day. I have a coffee, take out my tablet and write. It’s often my lunch break escape. I need it.

There are usually a number of other people with laptops, engrossed in their work. I wonder, are they students, freelancers, somebody “working from home”, backpackers emailing home?

If I were a freelancer, I’d likely do all of my work at one cafe or another. I don’t want to work in an office, but unless I’d have a really neat workspace at home, I’d go to a cafe most of the time, and even if I do, I’d still work elsewhere part of the time. If only to get a decent up of coffee.

So many ifs.

But the reality of it is that I am in a very different situation. My secure day job pays my bills and allows me to save money for my Big Trip.

I write in my spare time. I’ve ‘build’ a website. I’m so far away from freelancing it’s not even funny. There is simply no real pressure for me to get cranking.

Were I to take the plunge, and believe me I want to, I’d leave no avenue unexplored. I’d be going out there (wherever ‘there’ is) and I’d be getting those freelance jobs. Why? Because there is an unstoppable force inside me. How? Any way necessary that allows me to keep my integrity.

But to take the plunge now would be foolish. I’d eat up my savings and could kiss my trip goodbye.

I will take it, though, I know the date when I’ll jump of that cliff. But in order for me to build my wings on the way down, I’d like to have at least some of the raw materials.

That’s where I’m at now. I just need a little more pressure to get some momentum going.

So I won’t have to go back to a regular office job when I get back from my trip.


About 2clouds

I am many things, most of them I am 100%, some of them 150%, none of them just half. I write, I read, I dream, I travel. I question. And I'm always looking for answers. No dream is impossible.
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