I don’t know if you are real. Or perhaps I don’t know how real you are. We have not met. But it’s always been my hope that one day we will.
I’ve always believed that you would find me before I found you. I’m such a sceptic, infinitely hesitant to jump right into anything, including your wide open arms.
I’ve always suspected that at first I would not believe you. But secretly I hoped you would be real anyway. That you’d say all the right things, do all the right things and be everything I need you to be without me having to tell you first.
Knowing silly old me, I knew that I’d probably need you to wait for me. And hopefully you would do so, just long enough for me to allow you in.
I feared you might not, because I might take too long to finally see.
But once I would stop running away from you, pushing you away at every opportunity, I will turn to you and embrace you.
I will hold you close and dear, will never take you for granted and give you all of me that I can spare. I hope it will be enough. I hope it will be all that you deserve and at least all that you will need.
I will try.
I want you. I need you.
I want us. I need us.
The future is unwritten. It will be what we can make it. It will be full of my dreams and your dreams and our dreams.
There is a chance that I may walk away from you at times. I will need you to let me and I will want you to wait for me, though I may not say so. I will simply tell you that I love you and that I need to be alone for a while. Trust that I come back.
Remember that I don’t let go easily of those that I love. If ever we fall apart, I will not let it happen without a fight. I would like to think that we can make it through anything.
We will look after each other. Together we might just be able to do anything.
I’ve always known that I wanted you, even when I didn’t know you. I’d always hoped that I wouldn’t need to wait forever, wouldn’t somehow miss you.
And that once I found you, I’d never have to go looking again. Perhaps that’s not realistic; love is not like that. Everyone says that. But as with everything else in life, we can make it what we want it to be.
If we choose each other, anything is possible, anything can be.
2clouds 